Tomorrow, Ash Wednesday, is a FULL FAST day. The word “fast” means TO NOT EAT; not to eat three meals and come up with some weird explanation of how that constitutes “fasting”. To fast means to eat nothing.

As always, and this preface NEVER works, because every time I write about fasting, no matter how thoroughly I preface it, I get emails from people needing to explain their various and sundry maladies and telling me that my fasting definition is simply beyond the pale… because he or she, personally and individually, cannot fast. But, I’m persistent, so here we go again:

If you have some medical condition that excludes you from the ability to go 24 hours without eating, lest you risk inviting some grave medical condition… then do whatever you can. Our Lord isn’t a jerk who is trying to cull the sick. If you can’t fast, then don’t. Do what you can.


Fasting means eating nothing. Holy Mother Church asks that we eat NOTHING on two days of the year, a full fast from food and caloric beverages for 24 hours, from midnight to midnight: Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. This not only isn’t asking much, it’s actually extremely healthy for both BODY and soul.

Hear this now: if you as a healthy adult cannot go without food or caloric beverage for 24 hours without “passing out” or being somehow stricken, unable to work or function, then you are not, by definition, a “healthy adult”, and you should see an endocrinologist immediately.

But Ann! But Ann! The Church says that “fasting” means eating one main meal with two smaller meals that added together are less than the main meal!

To which I say, there is never any prohibition against doing MORE. Beyond that, I would also say that The Church said quite a few things in the 20th century that WILL NOT stand the test of time, to put it mildly. First among them being the de facto abolition of the Eucharistic Fast. How could anyone think that ONE HOUR constitutes a FAST? Or even three hours, for that matter. One could literally roll into a High Mass today with a bag from Mickey D’s, sit in the back of the church and eat a Super Value Meal, and as long as you’re done by the Gradual, depending on how long the homily is – perhaps even later than that – still have “observed the one hour Eucharistic Fast”, which is measured from the reception of Holy Communion, NOT from the beginning of the Mass. This is obviously madness, and it won’t last.

So, yes, I’m saying goodbye to my Lenten penance dietary restriction categories today, and eating absolutely nothing tomorrow. I will drink only lightly salted water, as needed.

I pray that everyone have a very holy and spiritually profitable Lent of ARSH 2024, that temporary abstinence from good things be offered up, and that sins and bad habits be crushed, and that good habits be permanently established!!!

Bruce Jenner is a man. And furthermore I consider that islam must be destroyed.