Ann Barnhardt: Wildcat Charwoman

Thanks be to God, and to all of you for your prayers, it’s official.  I will be cleaning all the things.  Including the stanky public toilets.  (Which ain’t gonna be stanky no mo’.  Trust.)  For cash.  Under the table.  Blacker’n the inside of a cow.  Wildcattin’.  Stickin’ it to Whitey.  At a truly third-world wage.  We’re talking Haitian banana-pickin’ wages up in here.  It’s so poetically fantastic.

My wage will cover 60% of my rent on my “parking space for the van”.  A big help, and a much-needed steady, fixed schedule which will involve a 5:30am daily wake-up call.  Huzzah!  And all kinds of prime thinking time (whilst manfully respiring all manner of industrial cleaning chemicals) so I can come home and explain selected Mysteries of the Church of Rome, monetary theory, and the various social and political pathologies of the day.  As Charwenches do.  Heh.



Let them bring on all their problems!
I’ll do better than my best.
I have confidence they’ll put me to the test,
But I’ll make them see I have confidence in me.

Somehow I will impress them.  (Look out.)
I will be firm, but kind.  (But mostly firm.)
And all those children, Heaven bless them!
They will look up to me
And. Mind. Me.

With each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine.
I have confidence the world can all be mine.
They’ll have to agree I have confidence in me!

I have confidence in sunshine.
I have confidence in rain.
I have confidence that spring will come again.
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!

STRRRRENGTH doesn’t lie in numbers,
STRRRRENGTH doesn’t lie in wealth. (preach it, gurl)
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers.
When you wake up —


All I trust I leave my heart to.
All I trust becomes my own.
I have confidence in confidence alone…
(Oh help!)

I have confidence in confidence alone.
Besides which you see I have confidence in me!



Bruce Jenner is a man. And furthermore I consider that islam must be destroyed.