The Van Down by the River is very comfortable.

My name is Ann Barnhardt, and I am a motivational speaker. Let me give you a little bit of a scenario of what my life is all about. I am 36 years old. I have never been married. And I live in A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

And so long as YOU consent to living under and being taxed and regulated to death by a murderous neo-Stalinist regime, you’re NOT GOING TO AMOUNT TO JACK. SQUAT.

You are going to end up eating a steady diet of government cheese and LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha. Couldn’t resist.

Seriously, I’m fine, staying with friends, and happy as a clam. The wardrobe has been reduced by 90%, the shoe collection by 75%, and the furniture inventory by 100%. I recommend this mode of living HIGHLY.

So yeah, if you ask me, “Young lady, what do you want to do with your life?” the answer would have to be:

“I wanna live in a van down by the river … and I ain’t no lady.”

Many, many thanks to all of you who have made purchases from the eBay estate sale. You are truly too kind and generous, and I am praying for you all daily. I think there are a few pieces of silverware left, and I’ll be getting the china up later this week. Thanks also to my little elves back in Colorado who have been so unbelievably helpful to me during this time.

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