Here’s the next Pope.

Angelo Bagnasco. Pope Leo XIV.

Very smart, and very elegant and dignified in a masculine way. Very kind, but will tear the face off of anyone who crosses him. And 70 years old. Plenty young and robust.

I like him.

(Please Lord, let me be right if for no other reason than to send all of the insane conspiracy theorists who say I am a government agent or shape-shifting lizard person simultaneously into low-earth orbit. Oh, and thanks again for our chat in the Sistine Chapel back in December. Amen.)