Starting Tuesday Night Off Right

† Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. THY WILL BE DONE, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but DELIVER US FROM EVIL. †

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ASSAULT WEAPON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EVELENTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ABSOLUTE MONARCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m skeerd. Hold me.

Oh, no. Wait. That’s King Saint Ferdinand III of Spain. Thirteenth century manly-man. Pious and holy as the day is long. Zealous propagator of the faith and manful slayer of many, many musloids. The love of his people was second only to his love of Our Lord and His Holy Church.

Bruce Jenner is a man. And furthermore I consider that islam must be destroyed.