Dear Spotify: I, Ann Barnhardt, will deliver 20 podcasts of at least 60 minutes, within one year, for ONE PERCENT, $200,000, of what you paid the Duck and Duckette of Dumb to deliver only ten hours of content.

Just kidding, folks. I’d never, ever ‘take the ticket’. If Spotify offered me $2 billion, I’d laugh in their and satan’s faces.

Lay down with dogs, get up with fleas.

My Wi-Fi in the new creekside abode is supposed to be installed this week, at which point we can start podcasting again… with the Dark Chocolates microphone. I’m optimistically cautious.

I’ll leave you with JC’s version of one of the wisest secular songs ever recorded: “A Satisfied Mind”…

How many times have

You heard someone say,

“If I had his money

I could do things my way.”

But little they know

That it’s so hard to find,

One rich man in ten

With a satisfied mind.

Once I was winning

In fortune and fame,

Everything that I dreamed for

To get a start in life’s game.

Then suddenly it happened

I lost every dime.

But I’m richer by far

With a satisfied mind.

Money can’t buy back

Your youth when you’re old,

Or a friend when you’re lonely,

Or a love that’s grown cold.

The wealthiest person

Is a pauper at times,

Compared to the man

With a satisfied mind.

When my life has ended

And my time has run out,

My friends and my loved ones

I’ll leave there’s no doubt.

But one thing’s for certain:

When it comes my time,

I’ll leave this old world

With a satisfied mind.

How many times have

You heard someone say,

“If I had his money

I could do things my way.”

But little they know

That it’s so hard to find,

One rich man in ten

With a satisfied mind.

Bruce Jenner is a man. And furthermore I consider that islam must be destroyed.