Mailbag: The Booze-in-the-Yogurt secret is out.

“It’s for the calcium” line is all a lie. Plain Yogurt is a vector for liquor. And tahini (toasted sesame seed paste). Or both. (Plain yogurt plus tahini plus Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey… say goodnight, Gracie.)


This is what I love about being a senior citizen: When you walk down the street and you pass another one, they always acknowledge you. Whether it be a nod, a smile, or a ‘hello’, senior citizens are cordial and respectful to one another.

Last night I was in the supermarket and was loading up my cart with yogurt for my wife. I look up and about eight feet from me is a guy maybe 6-7 years older than me laughing his head off. He starts to tell me that he does the exact same thing, bringing home tons of yogurt for his wife. He says he can’t figure out why she loves the stuff so much until one day he happens into the kitchen and see her pouring a small shot of Kahlua into the cup of yogurt!

God bless,

Bruce Jenner is a man. And furthermore I consider that islam must be destroyed.