Well, the jig is up for me. I’ve been discovered. I savvy reader sent in an email declaring that I have exposed myself as the center of a massive conspiracy to… I’m not exactly sure – oppress the white man? advance the NewWorldOrder? Hell, who are we kidding here? We all know that at the end of the day, it’s all about Da JOOOOOOZ, right?
So, I ate a horse steak, and it was darn good, and stated that it is an absolute travesty that horse slaughter is illegal in the U.S., and that horse slaughter should be legalized and re-commenced in the U.S., and thus it is now obvious to anyone willing to “see da troof” that I am at the center of a swirling nexus of evil involving the ENTIRE North American Cattle Industry (Hi, Guys!) and the Bureau of Land Management to… do something to someone involving the horsemeat trade, or something. I can’t even really follow what the argument is. But it’s BAAAAAD!
But, the good news is, I now get double portions of horse the next time I have an opportunity to eat it, because I CLAIM the correspondent’s allotment in perpetuity. HA! And y’all know I’m all about seconds!
If you are interested in preparing clandestine horsesteak, might I recommend a classic and super-easy presentation that can also be used on beef steak – both ribeye and tenderloin. If you have never tried Bearnaise Sauce, I would strongly encourage you to do so. Bearnaise Sauce is a variation on Hollandaise Sauce, and is an emulsification of egg yolks and clarified butter seasoned with the herb TARRAGON. Tarragon can be purchased dried in any grocery store on the spice aisle. If you live in a big enough city and have access to a market with fresh herbs, you might be able to find fresh tarragon, which I have had, and is extra-delicious. Bearnaise Sauce is one of the Five French “Mother” Sauces. But what is so cool is that you don’t have to make it from scratch. All you have to do is go to the gravy and sauce aisle in the grocery store where they have the little sauce and gravy packets (Knorr is the most common brand), and Bearnaise Sauce will be one of the flavors – and it is DARN GOOD. I keep a full selection of these sauce and gravy packets on hand: Hollandaise (excellent on scrambled eggs), Bearnaise (for steak and fish), Au Jus mix, Brown Gravy, Pork Gravy, and Turkey Gravy.
Cheap, easy, delicious, and, if you eat horse, part of a massive conspiracy apparently, which always adds extra special flavor.
An absolutely delightful email came in from a reader regarding horsemeat:
I cannot help writing to you, since reading today’s post. Here’s the short version of my own horse meat story:
I first ate horse meat in the winter of 1970, when I was in Avignon, France for a study abroad program. We Americans lived with French families and ate our dinner at about 1 p.m. at the student cafeteria. We were served horse meat maybe 3 times during the 10 week term. I thought it was delicious.
When I returned home my Mom served us a dinner of horse meat and I recognized it. She asked me to keep quiet about it, since my Dad did not know it was horse meat. My 8 younger siblings also knew about the horse meat.
On March 7th of 1973, Mom was “caught” at the horse meat market by an Oregonian reporter, who placed her photo and story the next day on the front page with the headline: “Surprise, Ed, that’s really NOT beefsteak”. Dad wasn’t sure what he thought about eating horse meat, but he loved all the publicity! He quickly developed a range of horse meat jokes, with many Mr. Ed jokes. The local story went national in many newspapers and on many radio shows.
So, my parents got to appear on the The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson on April 4th, 1973. They also appeared on To Tell the Truth on June 1st, 1973. If you are interested, you could google The Tonight Show to watch that episode.
My parents got lots of fan mail from friends and family because of this and only one piece of “hate” mail, with no signature. This turned out to be a happy event for my whole family and brought back many great memories for me.
Finally a compelling scene of a truly remarkable animal – that WAS NOT a rational intellect. A beautiful creature? Made and engineered by God? Yes, of course. Possessing the dignity of a human being? Made in the image and likeness of God? Absolutely NOT. But this is a great scene. Enjoy.