Ann,

Thank you for writing the post on annulments. There is a great deal I would like to say about this topic, but I will do my best to keep it succinct.

I am a sinner. I was at one time a very bad Novus Ordo Catholic and I was a very bad husband. At one point, I had a conversion of heart and I diligently struggled to cooperate with the grace God offered me to clean up my life and faithfully live as a Catholic man. Around this time, my wife had had enough and was on the verge of leaving me. I desperately fought to keep her, but at the same time, the reality began to set in that she might leave. This forced me to contemplate marriage, divorce, annulments and so forth.

After much prayer, study, and contemplation, I came to the same conclusion you espoused. If my wife left me, I was never going to seek an annulment because there was zero justification for it. A sacrament cannot be undone. I was either married or I was not and if I was married, then not only would it be wrong to seek an annulment, but it would also be an ontological impossibility.

Super long story, somewhat short, I have since doubled down on this and have actually lost friends who no longer associate with me because I believe the modern Church is abusing and lying to people about annulments, what they are, who can receive them and so forth. I believe this is a tragedy that is one of the leading causes of the destruction of Catholic families, the Church and the culture in America. Oh, and it is interesting that the Church doesn’t even claim infallibility for annulments – it’s no secret that the tribunal, even if filled with well-intentioned priests and attorneys, can get this wrong. I am aware of cases that have been reversed by Rome. I actually believe that even non-Catholic marriages, i.e. common law marriages, follow natural law and that natural law marriages are also intended to be perpetual.

On the bright side, my wife saw the changes in me and believed they were sincere. She stuck with me, thanks be to God, and our marriage and family have improved drastically. The irony of the entire situation is that a few years ago, we found out that her baptism was invalid. She and I are both converts to the faith. The modernist priests in our area with their horrible sacramental theology did not have any concern about the validity of the wandering, non-denominational preacher who supposedly baptized my wife without any certificate or other documentation. They never even mentioned the idea of a conditional baptism during her conversion process. My wife’s simple statement that she thought she had been baptized as a teenager at a building used for country music opries was sufficient. A few years ago, we researched everything and found out that the wandering preacher didn’t believe in baptism and likely didn’t use the trinitarian formula – i.e. intent and form were not present. Since she was never baptized, no other sacrament was valid and we were never sacramentally married. We have since rectified the entire situation. She was baptized, confirmed, and we were sacramentally married in the traditional rite about 18 years after our original common law (but not sacramental) marriage.

Thanks for all you do!

Christus Vincit!

Husband