Okay, it’s officially alright to be a little worried about Catherine Middleton.

There are three working theories about what happened to her, in progressively horrific order:

1. She had a gastric band to keep her thin which slipped and perforated her stomach. A perforated stomach is bad, bad business.

2. She’s vaxx injured. If she had a stroke and is paralyzed, that would explain much.

3. Domestic violence or suicide attempt. God forbid. Both seem unlikely, but really, what do any of us know about these people’s lives behind closed doors? It’s a rhetorical question. The answer is a resounding “NOTHING.”

Something is clearly up, though, and it’s not crazy to acknowledge that any longer. Something sinister. I hope she and her children are okay.



Bruce Jenner is a man. And furthermore I consider that islam must be destroyed.