The Final Legal Word on Kermit the Hermit the Pfake Pfranciscan Pfriar and his “Conclave by Marriott”.

A doff of the top hat and a clink of the snifter to Mr. Brian Murphy out of California for sending these citations from the now-famous JPII document on Papal Conclaves from ARSH 1996, Universi Dominici Gregis.

UDG has become famous over the past ten years as arguments have been made that the Bergoglian Antipapacy is invalid due to shenanigans at the faux-conclave of March ARSH 2013. This is wrong, because the root of the problem is totally antecedent; namely Pope Benedict’s failed attempt to only partially resign the active governance of the Church while “remaining in a new way within the enclosure of St. Peter” two weeks before the fake conclave even happened.

So, in order for UDG, which specifically pertains to conclaves, to have been germane to the question of shenanigans inside of a conclave, there would have had to have been… you know… a legal, valid conclave in March ARSH 2013 to apply it to. And there wasn’t. It is ontologically and canonically impossible to have a valid conclave while the See is still occupied, which it was by Pope Benedict until he died on December 31, ARSH 2022, thirty-seven days ago as of this writing, whether he liked it or not.

HOWEVER, as Mr. Murphy points out, what UDG explicitly forbids is anything even remotely like the farcical fiasco that Kermit the Hermit, the fake Franciscan friar attempted last week. It had been so long since I had read UDG that the paragraphs about calling conclaves never clicked in my mind with regards to the “Conclave by Marriott” grift – which sadly, a few people have actually fallen for. Not many, but a handful. There were only FIVE lay people that showed up for the idiotic thing, but Kermit the Hermit is still trying to run a new grift off of it, and simple people (“marks” is what law enforcement calls the targeted victims of con artists) are being sucked into it.

Here are the paragraphs of UDG that totally shoot down any notion of laymen calling a conclave.

Paragraph 4: While the See is vacant, NO modifications to law, especially law governing conclaves, may be modified.

4. During the vacancy of the Apostolic See, laws issued by the Roman Pontiffs can in no way be corrected or modified, nor can anything be added or subtracted, nor a dispensation be given even from a part of them, especially with regard to the procedures governing the election of the Supreme Pontiff. Indeed, should anything be done or even attempted against this prescription, by my supreme authority I declare it null and void.

Paragraph 5: Messes have to be handled exclusively by the College of Cardinals.

5. Should doubts arise concerning the prescriptions contained in this Constitution, or concerning the manner of putting them into effect, I decree that all power of issuing a judgment in this regard belongs to the College of Cardinals, to which I grant the faculty of interpreting doubtful or controverted points. I also establish that should it be necessary to discuss these or other similar questions, except the act of election, it suffices that the majority of the Cardinals present should concur in the same opinion.

Paragraph 33: Laity are forbidden to be electors.

33. The right to elect the Roman Pontiff belongs exclusively to the Cardinals of Holy Roman Church, with the exception of those who have reached their eightieth birthday before the day of the Roman Pontiff’s death or the day when the Apostolic See becomes vacant. The maximum number of Cardinal electors must not exceed one hundred and twenty. The right of active election by any other ecclesiastical dignitary or the intervention of any lay power of whatsoever grade or order is absolutely excluded.

Final Paragraphs: All previous laws regarding conclaves are abrogated, and any conclave called in violation of the norms outlined in UDG is totally invalid.


Wherefore, after mature reflection and following the example of my Predecessors, I lay down and prescribe these norms and I order that no one shall presume to contest the present Constitution and anything contained herein for any reason whatsoever. This Constitution is to be completely observed by all, notwithstanding any disposition to the contrary, even if worthy of special mention. It is to be fully and integrally implemented and is to serve as a guide for all to whom it refers.

As determined above, I hereby declare abrogated all Constitutions and Orders issued in this regard by the Roman Pontiffs, and at the same time I declare completely null and void anything done by any person, whatever his authority, knowingly or unknowingly, in any way contrary to this Constitution.

Wow. It’s almost as if the Divine Providence in His perfection foresaw this unforeseeable mess, and even foresaw grifter nuts pulling stunts like calling fake conclaves. How truly awesome.

And that is the final word on Kermit the Hermit the Fake Franciscan Friar, and his “Conclave by Marriott” grift.

Deo gratias!

Bruce Jenner is a man. And furthermore I consider that islam must be destroyed.