Monthly Archives: October 2021

A sobering read: Critical Race Theory and all Marxist social projects ultimately create Diabolical Narcissists whose trajectory is explicitly suicidal

By now most people have seen this image of an obese black sodomite woman who is hired to give luciferian workshops on “Critical Race Theory”.

We look at this and roll our eyes and shake our heads in a combination of revulsion and pity, but then we move on.

Something prompted me to go to this sick woman’s website as written on her flip board, and what I found was far more disturbing than even I, jaded as I am, ever expected.

This woman is AGGRESSIVELY suicidal. The demonic emotional palette has so utterly consumed this woman that she is totally devoid of any hope or capacity for happiness. She is already in hell. THIS is Diabolical Narcissism in its most advanced form.

I’m reminded of another psychopath narcissist black-ish woman who claimed that she was suicidal due to “racism”: Meghan Markle.

The thing about suicidal narcissists is that they have a very nasty habit of becoming MURDEROUS suicidal narcissists. Cross reference: the islamic political faux-religion.  Why? Because like the demons they emulate, Diabolical Narcissists are fueled and animated by SPITE. It is the perfect inversion of the One True Faith – love of neighbor proceeding from the love of God.  That inverts to hatred of neighbor and hatred of self proceeding from a hatred of God who is pure Love.

I’m going to post Shackelford’s essay “Nowhere to be suicidal, nowhere to be free” in full so that if her website is deleted, there will be a record here of the pure evil of the Marxist/CRT religion carried to its full, satanic fruition.

Folks, this is NOT SATIRE. She’s deathly serious, and organizations pay her to “improve culture”.

Nowhere to be suicidal, nowhere to be free

By Hunter Ashleigh Shackelford

CW: Suicidality, Suicidal Ideation

Where do you go when the world wants you dead and the people who love you want you free? Where do you run when there is nowhere to hide from antiblack violence, and there’s nowhere to tell the truth about wanting to die?

Am I allowed to be honest?

I want to die. No one can save me. I don’t want to live, here. I don’t want to live, at all. If I could die today knowing it wouldn’t create more death for the people who make life worth something, I would.

Don’t call 911. Don’t call my therapist. Don’t report my posts on Twitter. Don’t reach out to my friends. Don’t make a post online looking for me. Don’t run away when I ask you to listen to my tears and hold my truth. Please don’t make me pretend that I want to live.

In Audre Lorde’s poem ‘Litany for Survival,’ she says, “When we are silent, we are still afraid; So it is better to speak remembering we were never meant to survive.” I want to speak. I want to scream. I want to be forthright. But we can’t be honest if the consequence is a cage. Anytime the state is called for those of us navigating suicide, the result is being institutionalized or being killed. When resources for suicide are offered, many of those spaces force you into silence or performance because the expectation is that access to support means you’ll develop a will to live. When we tell people who love us that we want to die, everyone rushes to fix us or shush us. We were never meant to survive, and there isn’t anywhere to speak on how we’re not surviving.

Suicide, for many of us, is a response to a world designed to kill us. Suicide can be an intervention to trauma, unmet needs, and a way to end our pain. Suicide, for some of us, is a way to reclaim power and choice as oppressed people when nothing happening to us is within our control and when state violence is quotidian. Suicide, for many of us, is sometimes not about ending your life but seeking ways to end our despair when no other options exist. And even still, we are demanded that we live through it, find a way, make it make sense, remain quiet, maintain suffering pending joy, or pretend for the sake of everyone else.

I’ve tried to kill myself four times consciously. The first time was when I was 11 and the most recent time was last year. I’ve also probably tried to kill myself a million times unconsciously through toxic coping mechanisms, through organizing against the state, through being a reckless ass nigga, and by overstaying relationships where only death was served. And I’m still here dying to die. Nothing has made me feel “better” and nothing has changed my mind. Nothing has intervened antiblackness and nothing has stopped the daily demand for Black death. Nothing has changed. I’m still incurably sad. I’m still a forever suicidal ass nigga.

Can anyone hold these devastating truths? Am I allowed to be still in wanting to die without punishment? Can I please go, or at least tell you that I want to go even if I don’t? Will you hate me more than this unliveable world? Will you resent me more than the inevitable consequence of being Black? Is it possible to hold me with love, with ease, and without guilt?

I wish that the people who love me could live in the escapism that I am a whole person who wants to live forever with my niggas, because who am I to ruin their fantasies of me that keep them more alive. I wish I could avoid being the reason for a life-shattering tragedy and imparting sadness on other people. I wish I wanted to be here. I wish I wasn’t a burden in a world that buries us.

The most unimaginable loneliness of suicidality is that not only does the world demand you live but the people who love you can’t hold your truth without dying too. Everyone is heartbroken from your inability to stay, and no one has the capacity to hear that you will leave them more alone in this forsaken world. No one can hold your hand because they can’t bear to lose your pulse. No one can listen to your cries because they can’t help but cry too. The wellness, care, and affirmation of the people you love become another weight you have no strength to hold.

So this essay is for niggas who want to die and can’t, don’t, failed, or haven’t yet.

This is for the niggas who can’t imagine another day surviving antiblackness. This is for the niggas who can’t endure this world in any capacity, despite the love and care that may exist here. This is for the niggas who can’t breathe and who were never given breath. This is for the sad-ass niggas who just don’t have it to give. This is for the niggas who can’t kill the niggas who tried to kill them, so you have to kill yourself. This is for the niggas who experienced unspeakable trauma and can’t undo the impact, so they become undone. This is for the niggas who never had a chance, who chased chance knowing it missed them, who had the potential to be no one, who would’ve made it if the world didn’t unmake them. This is for the niggas who can never access desire or love or life the way you deserve. This is for the niggas who can’t leave their niggas behind, so they stay knowing it’s insufferable and worth it at once. This is for the regular degular niggas who walk in front of moving cars and jump off buildings just cause. This is for the niggas who are scared as fuck to take those pills, to cut their wrists, to sever access to air, to die painfully because this world is already anguishing enough. This is for the niggas who are dying just by being here, who are already dead because the world said so.

As I sit here contemplating dying, I realize that there is no place to run. There’s probably someone reporting this essay as we speak because they believe I’m a harm to myself and my readers. There’s probably someone asking if I’m okay in my comments despite that there isn’t an ‘okay’ I’ll ever embody. There are probably 17 missed calls from my mom who’s terrified that this time is different than the last. My broken heart breaks everyone else’s so every morning I tape the pieces together to pretend that I’m fine.

It’s another Tuesday. I’m still suicidal, and I’m still here.

The vaccines are ssss…

It could have been worse. She could have been driving down the autobahn at 80mph when the “safe” vaccine became “effective.”


(Continuing on human respect with part 2 of the sermon by Rev. FERREOL GIRARDEY, C.SS.R., Imprimatur ARSH 1915.  Emphases mine.)

It is the sacred duty of every true Christian to give to God absolute preference over every creature and, for God’s sake, to be ready to sacrifice at once every temporal interest, every human friendship, when these clash with his duty towards his Creator. The Catholic who is swayed by human respect, deliberates between God and a certain individual; he places in the scales God and this individual, and he prefers the individual to God Himself! Like the Jews, he cries out : “Not Jesus, but Barabbas!” He prefers his temporal interests, his pleasures, the gratification- of his base passions, his boon companions to his Creator, to the Lord of heaven and earth, to his greatest Benefactor, to his best Friend, to his most loving Father! He calls himself a Christian, a Catholic, pretends to believe in and serve God, and dreads only a wretched man’s displeasure or raillery; he pretends to worship God, and yet he dreads a wicked, unprincipled, contemptible man more than God Himself! He is less afraid of committing sin, of losing his soul, of being cast into hell for all eternity, than of forfeiting some worldly interest, or of being ridiculed by those whose opinions and sayings he should despise! Is not such a criminal preference a practical apostasy in one who calls himself a Christian, a Catholic?

We can understand the motive that induces a soldier to desert to the enemy, that urges a son, a daughter to forsake the paternal mansion. But that a Catholic should betray His God, his Church, his soul to the world on account of the censure of an ignoble man or set of men, is practically nothing less than an infamous apostasy ! God is your greatest Benefactor. What more could He do for you that He has not done, either in the order of nature, or in the order of grace? God created you in preference to numberless other men He could have created, had He so wished. He gave you your life, your body, its five senses and their use, and an immortal soul with its faculties. He has given you health and strength, as well as countless other benefits. He watches over you with truly paternal care, preserves you from many dangers, and makes all creatures, both animate and inanimate, your servants. “And if these things be little, I will add far greater things unto thee ”  (2 Kings 12. 8). In the order of Grace He has done far greater things for you. For your sake “God did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up” to insults, torments, and death (Rom. 8. 32). For you God the Son” emptied Himself,” assuming our human nature, “taking the form of a slave.” For you He was born in humility, poverty and suffering; for you He led a life of obscurity, toil and hardship; -and, finally, after a laborious ministry beset with constant opposition and persecution, He died a most infamous death on the cross, after under going in His body the most excruciating torments, enduring inconceivable sorrow in His soul, and forfeiting His honor by being reckoned as an impostor and numbered among the vilest criminals. For your benefit Jesus instituted His Church and her sacraments, those inexhaustible fountains of grace and salvation, which apply His merits to the souls of men, purify and beautify them, and render them worthy of eternal glory.  “And if these things be little, I shall add far greater things unto thee.” Not content with doing all this for you, God called you to the true faith by baptism; through His loving dispensation, you were educated by your good parents in the knowledge and practice of your faith, and removed from evil influences; you have been many a time cleansed from your sins in the sacrament of penance in the blood of the Immaculate Lamb, and made partakers of the Bread of Angels in the Holy Eucharist. Truly God “hath not done in like manner to every nation” (Ps. 147. 9). Verily it is easier to count the grains of sand on the sea-shore and the drops of water in the ocean, than the benefits He has lavished on you. He has, moreover, designed to confer on you still greater favors in heaven, where He has reserved for those who love and serve Him faithfully a perfect and endless reward, saying to you as to Abraham : “I am thy reward exceedingly great” (Gen. 15. i). What more could God do for you? But what does he say, who yields to human respect? “O God, I know all this; but I rather give Thee up; I give up the honorable and inappreciable privilege of being Thy child. I prefer to belong to the world. I rather please such and such companions than to obey Thee.” He then cries out : “Not this one, but Barabbas ! “Be astonished at this, ye heavens ! My people have done two evils. They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living water, and have dug to themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. . . . Pass over to the isles of Cathin, and see; and send into Cedar, and consider diligently, and see if there hath been anything like this” ( Jer. 2. 12, 13, 10).

You now, as it were, put Jesus Christ to shame, by turning your back on Him ; but soon you shall hear from His lips these terrible words : “You have been ashamed of Me and of My words, and I will be ashamed of you, and I will disown you, when I come in my Majesty as your Judge” (Luke 9. 26).

On the other hand, how admirable was the conduct of Tobias ! “When all went to the golden calves which Jeroboam, king of Israel, had made, Tobias alone fled the company of all and went to Jerusalem” (Tob. I. 5, 6). How admirable also was the conduct of the Israelites in Egypt. Anxious to escape the danger of falling there into idolatry through human respect, they said : “Let us go (into the desert) and sacrifice to our God”(Exod. 5. 8). How edifying the conduct of the early Christians in overcoming human respect! Rather than yield to human respect, they shunned all unnecessary intercourse with pagans and heretics, and were ready to undergo confiscation, imprisonment, torments and death, rather than yield to human respect! And those who had had the misfortune to apostatize, in order to escape the loss of their goods and fearful torments and a cruel death, or who, only when overcome by torments, had apostatized, were all subjected to long and rigorous penances before being re-admitted into the Church and to Holy Communion ! And you, with out being exposed to torments or to any real danger or serious disadvantage, are so weak as to apostatize practically, in order to please men who are undeserving of esteem and confidence, men who are the agents of Satan!

Hey! Remember that time Jesus Christ explicitly told those people to assemble a dataset…?

And when the men were come unto Him, they said: John the Baptist hath sent us to Thee, saying: Art Thou He that art to come; or look we for another?

(And in that same hour, He cured many of their diseases, and hurts, and evil spirits: and to many that were blind He gave sight.) And answering, He said to them: Go and relate to John what you have heard and seen: the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are made clean, the deaf hear, the dead rise again, to the poor the gospel is preached: And blessed is he whosoever shall not be scandalized in Me.
-Luke 7

In summary:

Assemble a dataset.

Draw a conclusion from that dataset.

Go tell John your dataset and the conclusion that you – YOU, not the Pharisees nor the Sanhedrin – have drawn.

Beware ANYONE or ANYTHING that demands that you check your brain at the door.  That’s not the Catholic Church, the greatest facilitator of the human intellect that has ever or will ever exist.

Do you know WHY Jesus Christ and His Holy Catholic Church WANT you to use your brain and think? Because, as St. Thomas Aquinas said, we can only love that which we apprehend with our intellect. AND because the True Faith, and of course, the TRUE CHURCH, not the apostate Bergoglian Freemasonic Antichurch, can stand up to ALL intellectual rigor. Have we not noticed how the Bergoglian Freemasonic Antichurch is a crumbling pile of irrational detritus? One egregious violation of the Law of Non-contradiction after another?

Denial of the truth of the Catholic Faith ALWAYS is rooted in a FALSE BASE PREMISE. Today, the most glaringly obvious is the FALSE BASE PREMISE that Bergoglio is the Pope. Embrace this lie, this clumsily obvious luciferian deception, and you will INEVITABLY descend into violent Apostasy, and eventually atheism, or the ultimate human evil: narcissistic hatred of God so thorough that it yields an admiration of satan himself precisely for his total rejection of God.

Folks, for those of you who don’t understand Freemasonry, this is the essence of it in its purest form:

THIS is exactly the argument that Freemasons use to justify their worship of satan. Exactly, precisely, 100%.

Pray the Fifth Joyful Mystery of the Rosary: Finding Jesus in the Temple – Fruit of the Mystery: Joy at finding Jesus.

Go find Him.  Go find Him in this Antipapacy situation.  Jesus Christ IS The Truth.  When you find Him, you will see Him for what He IS: Perfect, Infinite Good.  Perfect Fidelity. Perfect Providence.  Omniscience.  Omnipotence.  LOVE HIMSELF.

Assemble that dataset.  Draw that conclusion.  Scream that conclusion from the rooftops.

And never, ever forget, at the end of the proverbial day, ALL of this is ultimately about HIM, who He truly IS, and who you SAY that He is.

“Thou art the Christ, the Son of the Living God.”

Barnhardt Podcast #157: Apocalyptic Apothecary

[Direct link to the MP3 file]

In this episode Nurse Claire and Vanessa join Ann and Supernerd to discuss drugs: specifically what kinds of ingestible remedies to have on hand for this fall’s flu, coof, and craziness season. Avoid the red pills from Merck and remember to keep the health of your soul foremost while we seek to help ourselves and our neighbors in coming Dark Winter!

Nutrient/remedy stock-up items for your consideration:

Links, Reading, and Video:

Feedback: please send your questions, comments, suggestions, and happy news item to [email protected] — or you can leave voicemail feedback at (302) 648-6373‬. (Alternate email addresses are [email protected] and annbarnhar[email protected] if you are looking for something more secure.)

Supernerd Media produces the Barnhardt Podcast, hosts Ann’s website, and more; if you got some value from these efforts and would like to return some value please visit and click on the big red PayPal button or to find out how to send a donation via a few other methods.

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Dr. Mazza’s interview with Patrick Coffin on the invalidity of Pope Benedict’s attempted partial resignation was so good that they had it fully transcribed. Here are those links!

I’m telling’ ya, Dr. Mazza rocked it with Patrick Coffin a couple of weeks ago.  Transcribing an interview is a LOT of work, but Dr. Mazza’s interview was deemed so important that they went ahead and did the full transcription.

Here is the link to the full audio/video.

Fred Martinez over at TheCatholicMonitor has the transcription in four parts.  Here are those links:

Mazza-Coffin Transcription PART 1

Mazza-Coffin Transcription PART 2

Mazza-Coffin Transcription PART 3

Mazza-Coffin Transcription PART 4