This is computer-generated, folks. The voice isn’t real. The music is computer-generated.

But Chris Jackson wrote the words. Enjoy!

Verse 1
You used to shout “this pope is killing off the faith”
Now it’s “friends, be very careful, don’t be harsh, don’t lack good taste”
You used to torch the yes-men as they spun each Vatican twist
Now you sell the same excuses with a “Patreon benefits list”

You used to say “no compromise, we must speak, whatever comes”
Now you’re counting YouTube sponsors while you bite down on your tongue

Chorus
Trad Inc, you preached “stand up to Rome,” now it’s “trust the man in white”
You built fame by yelling “crisis,” now you scold us for the fight
Trad Inc, brave on yesterday, today you toe the line
Big rosary on the thumbnail, corporate Catholic in your spine

Verse 2
You used to call Pachamama a disgrace before the Lord
Now it’s “please don’t be dramatic, let’s use a softer, safer word”
You used to say the new rite showed the crisis, clear as day
Now when Leo cuts the old one, you tell people, “just obey”

You used to swear you’d lose it all before you’d sell the truth
Now you tone it down for donors so the checks keep coming through

Chorus
Trad Inc, you preached “stand up to Rome,” now it’s “trust the man in white”
You built fame by yelling “crisis,” now you scold us for the fight
Trad Inc, brave on yesterday, today you toe the line
Big rosary on the thumbnail, corporate Catholic in your spine

Verse 3
They still sell the old Missals, they still tweet “Cristeros, rise!”
But the comments get deleted if you mention compromise
They told you Cardinal Burke was the model to embrace
“The Latin Mass is coming, just be quiet, know your place”

Now they clutch their Mass permissions like a fragile golden pass
While their neighbors lose the Latin and get drums at daily Mass

Verse 4
There’s the blogger who once thundered, “We must fight this modern cult!”
Now he’s blocking every follower who mentions the result
There’s the priest who called Pachamama “demonic, hard stop, no way”
Now he tells you that the problem is “your tone on Leo today.”

Welcome to Trad Inc, with its “healthy critique” brand,
Where they slap a trad veneer on every new Vatican plan
They once warned of “papal novelty,” now they pour it in your drink
With a traddy label on it, certified by Trad Inc

Final Chorus / Outro
Trad Inc, you preached “stand up to Rome,” now it’s “trust the man in white”
You built fame by yelling “crisis,” now you scold us for the fight
Trad Inc, brave on yesterday, today you toe the line
Big rosary on the thumbnail, corporate Catholic in your spine