For the record, no, I haven’t gotten a new phone case. I was briefly considering it, but then thought, “Nah, I’m a’ight for a minute…”

Such massive life decisions as getting a new phone case require prudence and knowledge. Flip-flopping is a species of failure. Measure twice, cut once, and let your yes be yes, and your no be no. Changing one’s phone case with the wind or the zeitgeist is no way to live. It’s unmanly and weak.

If I do get a new phone case, y’all will be the first to know.

Bruce Jenner is a man. And furthermore I consider that islam must be destroyed.